jump to navigation

The needs of others September 24, 2007

Posted by Stewart in All posts.
add a comment

How different is our perception compared to others? Very, when you don’t know all the facts that influence the situation. I know I shouldn’t have, but I looked at my girlfriend’s online diary, which I know she intended to be away from my eyes. Reading it, only then did I see how fully she felt and how such feelings contrasted my own. More than ever, now, I know that I am not at all fulfilling her needs. She needs someone there to support her, care and love her. In the last few months, I have done very little of that. I have not fulfilled her needs as I should have, as a friend and boyfriend- I’ve been found lacking. I’m so sorry. In actuality, I’ve focused more on my own because I did not know the situations playing-out in her life and the outcomes and effects they have had on her. I feel ashamed at myself for not placing her needs, for support and care, above my own for attention and affection. What love have my actions portrayed other than ruthless self-love? I’m not sure what’s going on anymore in our relationship. I want to be there for her, but now I don’t even know how. I’m ashamed for not placing her needs above my own. I feel like I’ve been not only a bad boyfriend, but a bad person. I feel as though I have yet again failed someone so dear, all for the sake of wreckless pride. To close this seemingly rant-like post, I shall once again affirm, I’m ashamed for not placing Ash’s needs above my own.

Window to understanding personality September 21, 2007

Posted by Stewart in All posts.
Tags: ,
add a comment

In psychology, we are currently studying personality. Below is a copy of my interactive Johari window. Kinda’ gives you insight on the traits known and unknown that you possess.

Arena

(known to self and others)

caring, friendly, intelligent, sentimental

Blind Spot

(known only to others)

clever, complex, dependable, kind, loving, nervous, responsive, searching, sensible, silly, tense, warm, wise

Façade

(known only to self)

introverted, spontaneous

Unknown

(known to nobody)

able, accepting, adaptable, bold, brave, calm, cheerful, confident, dignified, energetic, extroverted, giving, happy, helpful, idealistic, independent, ingenious, knowledgeable, logical, mature, modest, observant, organised, patient, powerful, proud, quiet, reflective, relaxed, religious, self-assertive, self-conscious, shy, sympathetic, trustworthy, witty

Dominant Traits

75% of people agree that Ben is intelligent

All Percentages

able (0%) accepting (0%) adaptable (0%) bold (0%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (25%) cheerful (0%) clever (25%) complex (25%) confident (0%) dependable (25%) dignified (0%) energetic (0%) extroverted (0%) friendly (50%) giving (0%) happy (0%) helpful (0%) idealistic (0%) independent (0%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (75%) introverted (0%) kind (50%) knowledgeable (0%) logical (0%) loving (25%) mature (0%) modest (0%) nervous (25%) observant (0%) organised (0%) patient (0%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (0%) relaxed (0%) religious (0%) responsive (25%) searching (25%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (25%) sentimental (25%) shy (0%) silly (25%) spontaneous (0%) sympathetic (0%) tense (50%) trustworthy (0%) warm (50%) wise (25%) witty (0%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 21.9.2007, using data from 4 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view Ben’s full data.

Night September 12, 2007

Posted by Stewart in All posts.
Tags: , , ,
add a comment

After reading the emotive and compellingly moving memoir Night, by Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel, and viewing Oprah’s interview of the author as they together walked through Auschwitz, I feel torn. Torn and horrified that the innate dignity of the person could be so brutally subject to such terrible cruelty- disrespected and completely stripped of all identity.

I am shocked and utterly appalled that such madness could ever have erupted in humanity’s conscience and history, and even more-so, I am terrified at merely seeing the imagery of the capacity of the dark side of humanity, which seems rife with such bitter anger and hatred. It is made all the more terrifying when I consider that the perpetrators of these atrocities were human, as too were the victims.

As I ponder upon all the discarded shoes and those who wore them, as I consider all the lives lost in this factory of death, I cannot help but contemplate how many opportunities were taken away from each person. How much happiness was drained from them and how the capacity to make a difference disappeared as each one fell to death.

Considering the statement, ‘Work makes you free’ atop the gates of hell, I ponder it to be exactly the opposite in the case of Auschwitz. There, work enslaved them. Unethical medical experiments and torture mutilated them and all dreams turned to ashes in the intense blaze of the crematorium. Whatever little hope that may have been left would probably have been like a tiny ration of bread for the entire massive camp or like a simple beam of light from heaven, piercing the immense darkness of hell.